January: Has it helped?

January is a hard month for me. Every year I start to droop a little. It must be the darkness and cold that keeps me in a state of constant worry. Last year, I was beginning to worry that my man didn't care for me. We had only been together two months, were still in the new relationship high, but I needed SOMETHING to worry about. This year I've worried about him and about money and about the house and about my friends and that maybe I'm a bad person and about death and about my car. Worry, worry, worry. I have literally worried myself to tears.

That being said, this month wasn't about worry or dealing with that. This month was about my health. I have changed my diet and made more of an effort to work out and I have tracked my progress on Sparkpeople. So, I think it may be time to reflect.

For a very very long time I have eaten a bowl of Doritos nearly every night. I love Doritos. If you get me to a party and hand me a back of Cool Ranch, there is a god chance that you will never get it back. I don't do that anymore. I realized at the end of December that it was something I had quit doing on my own. So, I quit buying Doritos, except for the new flavors which you can't blame me for trying. The amazing thing is that I don't miss them. Not really. Not at all. I can't even really remember how they taste. I bet if I caught the smell of them it would be different. I was surprised to see what I was giving up for those little triangular delights.

I used to eat cereal for breakfast, soup for lunch, and a microwaveable meal for dinner. That usually put me at 700 calories before Doritos. When I got home, I was famished and ate my bowl of delight but also stood in the kitchen shoving anything that looked good in my mouth, including more Doritos. Now, I have a calorie budget of 350 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, 500 for dinner, and two 100 calorie snacks. I never use all of my breakfast calories, even though I've started buying Kashi cereal which is higher in calories but also in protein and fiber and lots of good stuff. I eat it with almond or soy milk, a successful experiment. I am lucky enough to be able to eat at home three days a week for lunch and I can make myself all kinds of stuff. When I come home from work, I make a dinner and eat it. Sometimes it may just be a microwaveable thing. Other times it's stir fry or a veggie burger or an actual meal.

I am amazed at the amount of food I can eat and sometimes have a hard time getting ENOUGH calories!

Also, I've been doing my best to do aerobics five days a week and toning three. Sometimes, things happen that prevent me from doing it but I have never cut out more than ONE of these work outs in a week. My aerobics are actually getting a little too easy for me. I remind myself every morning that I will feel better if I work out than if I don't and that's true.

I try to keep my energy up throughout the day. That's a hard one for me. I make work as active as I can in an attempt to keep myself going. The problem is that I work fast. When I try to stay active I work faster and end up running out of things to do.

I do feel BETTER and I bet that I would even feel happier if it weren't for winter. I do struggle and I feel proud of myself when I overcome. I feel good when I see that I've lost weight. I'm down 3 lbs for the year. It isn't much but I know that slow and steady is the way to go.