When I was about 20, I took an intro to philosophy class. I didn't really understand most of it. Actually, it, as well as one of my friends, convinced me that I did not exist. It was a rough time. lol. Anyway, my professor got to talking about the store Forever 21 one day when somebody complimented her bag.
"Thanks," she said. "I got it at Forever 21. By the way, what a hellish name for a store! You're all too young to know this now, but 21 sucks. Wait until you get older."
Now, this was completely lost on most of the class. I was one of the older students, having transferred from a local (way shittier) private college. We were a bunch of 18-22 year olds and we probably couldn't have found our way out of a cave (Ha! Philosophy joke!) with a flashlight. We were high on youth, even if we didn't realize it. Our faces were unlined. Our livers were fresh. WE were on top of the world. What could this late 30's woman know about being 21??
A lot, apparently.
Now that I am the ripe age of 28 (HA!), I totally get it. It's like they say, some things get better with age. Yes, a lot of the magic has gone out of the world for me but there are those glorious moments where everything is beautiful and right. This afternoon. I stood on the front porch, slightly buzzed, in the hail and sunshine. It was so beautiful. And I had just been thinking about who I am and where I am at. I have done so much more than I ever expected. I never thought that I could pull all of this off. I can't even begin to imagine what I'll pull off in the coming years.
Forever 21 IS a hellish name for a store. I would never go back.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
It's time to go again...
I know that I haven't written in a while and quite frankly that's because I just forgot about my project.
But I want to try again and one thing I've learned is that there is nothing wrong with that.
I think what I need is a "Get it Together" Project as opposed to the a Happiness Project but, you know, I kind of think they are the same thing. I'm just going to do it. I am going to hop right in to getting myself back on track. I'm going to work on eating better and getting fit, just like I did in January.
This is the third Sunday in a row that I have cleaned the whole house in an afternoon. That is one of the things I love about my house. It's so small that a couple of hours is enough to get it clean. The first week I did it was Labor Day (so technically not a Sunday). After a weekend of partying, Matt and I laid down to nap. I got up and cleaned the house and he still didn't want to get up so I sat down with some movies. Throughout the week, I tend to build up a collection of movies from the library. That first week I watched Tangled, Season of the Witch, and Crazy Stupid Love. Last Sunday I cleaned after getting home from a bridal shower while Matt was celebrating his father's birthday. When I was done, he wasn't home yet. I watched You Again and Wild Hearts Can't be Broken. This week I have Rango, Charlie St. Cloud, Book of Love, and Peacock.
I rarely let myself just sit in front of the television and there are a lot of things I want to see that Matt DOES NOT want to see. Usually, I just figure it's not worth the battle. These past couple of weeks have been really nice though. I love having the house clean for the week. Usually I spend my mornings and lunch hours cleaning and it never seems to get done. Finishing it all on one day has been nice. I don't know that it's actually saved me any time during the week but it has made me feel a bit less stressed. I like that I have been rewarding myself, too. I can play games on the computer and look at Pinterest and work on crafts and catch up on movies. And that feels great!
Sometimes I think that a clean house makes me happy and sometimes I think that a clean house is a sign of happiness. What do you think about cleanliness and happiness?
But I want to try again and one thing I've learned is that there is nothing wrong with that.
I think what I need is a "Get it Together" Project as opposed to the a Happiness Project but, you know, I kind of think they are the same thing. I'm just going to do it. I am going to hop right in to getting myself back on track. I'm going to work on eating better and getting fit, just like I did in January.
This is the third Sunday in a row that I have cleaned the whole house in an afternoon. That is one of the things I love about my house. It's so small that a couple of hours is enough to get it clean. The first week I did it was Labor Day (so technically not a Sunday). After a weekend of partying, Matt and I laid down to nap. I got up and cleaned the house and he still didn't want to get up so I sat down with some movies. Throughout the week, I tend to build up a collection of movies from the library. That first week I watched Tangled, Season of the Witch, and Crazy Stupid Love. Last Sunday I cleaned after getting home from a bridal shower while Matt was celebrating his father's birthday. When I was done, he wasn't home yet. I watched You Again and Wild Hearts Can't be Broken. This week I have Rango, Charlie St. Cloud, Book of Love, and Peacock.
I rarely let myself just sit in front of the television and there are a lot of things I want to see that Matt DOES NOT want to see. Usually, I just figure it's not worth the battle. These past couple of weeks have been really nice though. I love having the house clean for the week. Usually I spend my mornings and lunch hours cleaning and it never seems to get done. Finishing it all on one day has been nice. I don't know that it's actually saved me any time during the week but it has made me feel a bit less stressed. I like that I have been rewarding myself, too. I can play games on the computer and look at Pinterest and work on crafts and catch up on movies. And that feels great!
Sometimes I think that a clean house makes me happy and sometimes I think that a clean house is a sign of happiness. What do you think about cleanliness and happiness?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Staycation
I had a staycation last week. It was really nice. I love having the ability to take time off and just chillax. Sometimes I feel bad because Matt can't take as much time off as me, though. It's hard for me to relax and enjoy my time off when I spend the whole day feeling bad for him because his job doesn't make him happy.
So, what did I do this week? I ate all kinds of stuff that is super bad for me. I got skunk drunk twice. I went shopping three times. I spent time with my mother. I spent time with my bestie, who was visiting from Connecticut. I cleaned the house. I had a party. I went to a concert. It was wild and crazy and so much fun. I didn't think that I would be ready to go back to work but I actually am.
And I am ready to get back to my other work too. Happiness.
So, tomorrow I am not just going back to work, I am going to kick ass. I am going to spend my week working out and eating like I am supposed to. I am going to do my best not to spend money. I am going to drink my water and clean my house and do my laundry and write my novel and be nice to my mother. Because, as happy as my staycation has made me I know that it can't go on forever. Unless I finish that book. lol
So, what did I do this week? I ate all kinds of stuff that is super bad for me. I got skunk drunk twice. I went shopping three times. I spent time with my mother. I spent time with my bestie, who was visiting from Connecticut. I cleaned the house. I had a party. I went to a concert. It was wild and crazy and so much fun. I didn't think that I would be ready to go back to work but I actually am.
And I am ready to get back to my other work too. Happiness.
So, tomorrow I am not just going back to work, I am going to kick ass. I am going to spend my week working out and eating like I am supposed to. I am going to do my best not to spend money. I am going to drink my water and clean my house and do my laundry and write my novel and be nice to my mother. Because, as happy as my staycation has made me I know that it can't go on forever. Unless I finish that book. lol
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Closing March, Opening April
The most frustrating thing about March was my inability to lose any weight even though I felt like I was being a saint. However, the last week of the month I dropped a pound. Now I have a whole new month ahead of me! (Though, again, it's about how I feel. Not what I weigh.)
Other than that, March was possibly the month that I have been the happiest this year. I read once about the Shakers (or is it the Quakers?) who think of every action as a prayer. They think of making the bed as thanking God for a place to sleep. I kind of love this theory. One of the problems with being a woman is that I work full time and it is still expected that I keep a lovely, well maintained, clean house. My lawn should be mowed. I should have a vegetable garden. My floors should be clean enough to eat off of. It's hard enough with three cats and a boyfriend. I can only imagine what it's like with kids!
Sometimes, I am really good with housework. I do the laundry every Sunday and have a rule that it must be folded within 24 hours. I load the dishwasher as I dirty dishes, run it when it's full, and unload it when it's done. Before bed every night I run my tea kettle and while it's on the stove I grind my coffee beans for the morning and clean up the kitchen, even hand washing dishes and wiping down counters. I try to follow the "30 second rule" and do anything that will take less than 30 seconds instantly, such as changing the toilet paper roll. Still, it's the actual cleaning that gets away from me. I start every weekend in the bedroom and work my way room by room. Some weeks I finish the same day. Other weeks I never finish.
I also have a hard time with home because it's an older home (built in 1977) that's changed hands numerous times. (I purchased it in November 2010. The previous sale had been in 2008 to a gentleman who lived there three months while he fixed it up and then rented it out to a girl I went to school with as a rent to own.) It's really not in the best shape and there are cosmetic things about it that drive me batty. It has newer wood laminate flooring and newer kitchen cupboards and the whole house has been painted since I purchased it. I've even put a new roof on. Still, I fantasize about tearing the cheap "tile" out of the shower. But my biggest dream is a sliding glass door and a back porch. I miss out on my back yard just because there isn't a door leading to it.
My goal last month was to ENJOY my house. And I did. I even spent some time sitting silently on the couch, listening to the birds. I opened the windows when it was warm. I did a heavy cleaning for a get together. I cooked at home more. I tried not to get down on myself about the things that I never got around too, even those UFO's I said I would work on. And it was wonderful.
This month I am supposed to focus on family. I figured I would just try to be nicer this month. That's one of my big downfalls. I love my family but they HAVE to love me so I am allowed to be a bitch. I've already started!
Other than that, March was possibly the month that I have been the happiest this year. I read once about the Shakers (or is it the Quakers?) who think of every action as a prayer. They think of making the bed as thanking God for a place to sleep. I kind of love this theory. One of the problems with being a woman is that I work full time and it is still expected that I keep a lovely, well maintained, clean house. My lawn should be mowed. I should have a vegetable garden. My floors should be clean enough to eat off of. It's hard enough with three cats and a boyfriend. I can only imagine what it's like with kids!
Sometimes, I am really good with housework. I do the laundry every Sunday and have a rule that it must be folded within 24 hours. I load the dishwasher as I dirty dishes, run it when it's full, and unload it when it's done. Before bed every night I run my tea kettle and while it's on the stove I grind my coffee beans for the morning and clean up the kitchen, even hand washing dishes and wiping down counters. I try to follow the "30 second rule" and do anything that will take less than 30 seconds instantly, such as changing the toilet paper roll. Still, it's the actual cleaning that gets away from me. I start every weekend in the bedroom and work my way room by room. Some weeks I finish the same day. Other weeks I never finish.
I also have a hard time with home because it's an older home (built in 1977) that's changed hands numerous times. (I purchased it in November 2010. The previous sale had been in 2008 to a gentleman who lived there three months while he fixed it up and then rented it out to a girl I went to school with as a rent to own.) It's really not in the best shape and there are cosmetic things about it that drive me batty. It has newer wood laminate flooring and newer kitchen cupboards and the whole house has been painted since I purchased it. I've even put a new roof on. Still, I fantasize about tearing the cheap "tile" out of the shower. But my biggest dream is a sliding glass door and a back porch. I miss out on my back yard just because there isn't a door leading to it.
My goal last month was to ENJOY my house. And I did. I even spent some time sitting silently on the couch, listening to the birds. I opened the windows when it was warm. I did a heavy cleaning for a get together. I cooked at home more. I tried not to get down on myself about the things that I never got around too, even those UFO's I said I would work on. And it was wonderful.
This month I am supposed to focus on family. I figured I would just try to be nicer this month. That's one of my big downfalls. I love my family but they HAVE to love me so I am allowed to be a bitch. I've already started!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Learning Acceptance
This morning I wrote in my journal about my life two years ago and the people I surrounded myself with. They weren't great people. Honestly, I didn't realize what was going on until I was forced out of a comfortable situation by a horrendously rough break up. For years I was told that I was retarded and crazy. That I wasn't hard enough on myself. That I had no pride in the things I did. I constantly listened to my ex put my friends, my family, and his friends down. When we broke up, I listened to my friends put him down while they were making fun of me, calling me a retard and making me feel small whenever I dared to step out of line. I watched these people lie and cheat on a daily basis, all while they acted like they weren't doing the same things to me.
Then, I let them fall away. I didn't call them out. (My bestie did, though. But that was her own thing and she had to deal with it her own way.) I have NEVER told them how I really feel about them or what I really think of them even while they talk about me on Facebook. BTW, when you filter what someone can see on your Facebook but not what her mother can see, word gets around.
Sometimes I feel a little sad about this. My social circle has gotten smaller and I miss some of the good times we had. For the most part, though, I am better off. The people I am around now never go out of their way to make me feel bad. I never catch them in bold faced lies just to be accused to being a drama queen. They are smart. They get my jokes and I get theirs. We have similar interests and educations and values. I'm not saying that I am not open to people with different backgrounds than mine but it's nice to have people around that I can relate to.
In Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, they call it background noise, the people you surround yourself with. The older I get, the more I realize that it's not about quantity. It's about quality.
Then, I let them fall away. I didn't call them out. (My bestie did, though. But that was her own thing and she had to deal with it her own way.) I have NEVER told them how I really feel about them or what I really think of them even while they talk about me on Facebook. BTW, when you filter what someone can see on your Facebook but not what her mother can see, word gets around.
Sometimes I feel a little sad about this. My social circle has gotten smaller and I miss some of the good times we had. For the most part, though, I am better off. The people I am around now never go out of their way to make me feel bad. I never catch them in bold faced lies just to be accused to being a drama queen. They are smart. They get my jokes and I get theirs. We have similar interests and educations and values. I'm not saying that I am not open to people with different backgrounds than mine but it's nice to have people around that I can relate to.
In Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, they call it background noise, the people you surround yourself with. The older I get, the more I realize that it's not about quantity. It's about quality.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
February Wrap Up, In Like a Lion
So, Febraury. Did it help? Not really a damn bit. Oh, and there are lots of reasons why I am not happier today than I was on the first. But, you want to know the cool part? I am not unhappy because of my Health or Wealth. I've lost 5 lbs, need new jeans, and went down a notch and a half in my belt since the first of the year. As far as finances go, this month I fixed my car and paid off two debts and kept up with my debt snowball. I haven't been writing in my check book like I said I would and I haven't been sticking to my budget but I have been ENJOYING what money can give me a little bit more. I've gone to Autorama and bought a few nice beers and ever gifted some beer to Matt. Really, isn't that the point? I don't want to feel tied down to a budget and I kind of think that money is one of those "good enough" categories. I AM doing my debt snowball, and that is good, but I am NOT really sticking to a budget. That is good enough and I should just let it go and not beat myself up.
So, March. I opted to focus on home in March because it seemed like a good month for it. You never know what the weather is going to do. (We just got our first snow storm of the season like last Friday. In Michigan. Monday morning I didn't need a coat.) March is one of those ICK months for me. It's usually gray and spring is right around the corner but it's not here yet and it's taunting me like a crock pot meal that I have to smell for six hours before I can eat it. I spend a lot of time inside because it's just not nice enough yet. I am simply bogged down by my longing to be outside in the summer sun but I have FOREVER to wait.
That's why, my goal for March, is to enjoy my home.
I love my house. I bought it on my own. I filled it on my own. Then my awesome amazing boyfriend helped me fill it a bit more. But my house does drive me a bit nuts. We have a lot of shit. A LOT. We have clutter and I have a hard time keeping up with keeping it clean because I am "oh so busy" and "oh so tired." Projects tend to pile up for the same reasons. All of this mess makes me feel frazzled and make it hard to rest and enjoy.
What I have planned for March:
-Cleaning
-Decorating
-Cooking
Mostly, I think it will be important for me to chill out this month. When I was home for lunch the other day, I was feeling a bit tired. I usually spend my lunch break eating, squeezing in a quick work out, cleaning, and/or running errands. (One day I got my car washed, got gas, picked up some groceries, went home, ate, and still started cleaning the bathroom.) I had already eaten at work and so I decided that I should take a nap. Pausing in the middle of the day, stretching out on the couch with my favorite blanket and my cats, was wonderful. When I came home at night I was proud of myself for breaking my routine and taking time to chill. I carried it over into the night, making a quick meal and relaxing on the couch. This morning I felt rested and refreshed and way better than I have been feeling.
Wish me luck!
So, March. I opted to focus on home in March because it seemed like a good month for it. You never know what the weather is going to do. (We just got our first snow storm of the season like last Friday. In Michigan. Monday morning I didn't need a coat.) March is one of those ICK months for me. It's usually gray and spring is right around the corner but it's not here yet and it's taunting me like a crock pot meal that I have to smell for six hours before I can eat it. I spend a lot of time inside because it's just not nice enough yet. I am simply bogged down by my longing to be outside in the summer sun but I have FOREVER to wait.
That's why, my goal for March, is to enjoy my home.
I love my house. I bought it on my own. I filled it on my own. Then my awesome amazing boyfriend helped me fill it a bit more. But my house does drive me a bit nuts. We have a lot of shit. A LOT. We have clutter and I have a hard time keeping up with keeping it clean because I am "oh so busy" and "oh so tired." Projects tend to pile up for the same reasons. All of this mess makes me feel frazzled and make it hard to rest and enjoy.
What I have planned for March:
-Cleaning
-Decorating
-Cooking
Mostly, I think it will be important for me to chill out this month. When I was home for lunch the other day, I was feeling a bit tired. I usually spend my lunch break eating, squeezing in a quick work out, cleaning, and/or running errands. (One day I got my car washed, got gas, picked up some groceries, went home, ate, and still started cleaning the bathroom.) I had already eaten at work and so I decided that I should take a nap. Pausing in the middle of the day, stretching out on the couch with my favorite blanket and my cats, was wonderful. When I came home at night I was proud of myself for breaking my routine and taking time to chill. I carried it over into the night, making a quick meal and relaxing on the couch. This morning I felt rested and refreshed and way better than I have been feeling.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wealth- My Car
I drive a 2000 Mustang GT. See, fast cars are a THING in my family. Before this I drove a 92 Stealth and an 89 Firebird and I loved them both. The Firebird was my first love but I like to think of the Mustang as my TRUE LOVE. I always intended to drive her as long as I could and then tuck her away neatly in a garage to restore for my first daughter.
But she isn't a Pony anymore. She's a Ripe Old Mare.
I paid her off in July of 2010, a year early. Since then I have been fixing it almost nonstop. That fall it was four new tires, new brakes, a new ty rod (Is that what that's called?), cleaning the cylinders, replacing a wire harness, and a new chord thingy for the transmission. Then my exhaust needed some work that winter and I busted a wheel bearing on a busy road. I've replaced the mass airflow sensor annually. In August, I got two new tires. In November I got in an accident and spent $1000 on body work. (That, actually, was sheer luck. I had an extra hood and my dad and brother are awesome at body work. She looks like a new car.) Another mass airflow sensor last month and another wheel bearing last weekend. RIGHT NOW I need two new tires and a new gooseneck for the gas tank (which leaks if I take corners too quickly or fill the tank) and my brake light is on and my dash lights have a short and my Sirius needs a new antenna.
But I have an idea. I'm not going to say that it will work or that it is brilliant or any other bullshit but it is worth a try.
I am going to open a new account. I am going to use this new account ONLY FOR CAR STUFF. Every month, I will put my mileage check in the account and when I need repairs I will pay for them out of that account. The money I don't use for car repairs will sit safely in that account for use towards a new car. Not NEW new, but new to me. Another Mustang. A newer one that I won't have to fix every damn week. But because I won't be doing it from my checks, it shouldn't affect my debt snowball.
So, let's try it. See where it goes.
But she isn't a Pony anymore. She's a Ripe Old Mare.
I paid her off in July of 2010, a year early. Since then I have been fixing it almost nonstop. That fall it was four new tires, new brakes, a new ty rod (Is that what that's called?), cleaning the cylinders, replacing a wire harness, and a new chord thingy for the transmission. Then my exhaust needed some work that winter and I busted a wheel bearing on a busy road. I've replaced the mass airflow sensor annually. In August, I got two new tires. In November I got in an accident and spent $1000 on body work. (That, actually, was sheer luck. I had an extra hood and my dad and brother are awesome at body work. She looks like a new car.) Another mass airflow sensor last month and another wheel bearing last weekend. RIGHT NOW I need two new tires and a new gooseneck for the gas tank (which leaks if I take corners too quickly or fill the tank) and my brake light is on and my dash lights have a short and my Sirius needs a new antenna.
But I have an idea. I'm not going to say that it will work or that it is brilliant or any other bullshit but it is worth a try.
I am going to open a new account. I am going to use this new account ONLY FOR CAR STUFF. Every month, I will put my mileage check in the account and when I need repairs I will pay for them out of that account. The money I don't use for car repairs will sit safely in that account for use towards a new car. Not NEW new, but new to me. Another Mustang. A newer one that I won't have to fix every damn week. But because I won't be doing it from my checks, it shouldn't affect my debt snowball.
So, let's try it. See where it goes.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Wealth Update
I kind of think that this was not a good month to focus on finances. The problem is that I have an abundance of money this month. I had tax returns and the Infamous C sent me the money to pay his bill that I am responsible for. Then there is my usual income, including my annual raise at the beginning of the month. I still have BF's rent money and a mileage check coming. This is one of those few times when I have the money to go and eat at the "nice" steakhouse in town and go shopping and even, decadence upon decadence, waltz into Radioshack and buy that new antenna I needed for my Sirius.
I'm not complaining but I am damn lucky right now.
Still, I have been mostly responsible. With my tax refund, I've finished up my emergency fund (which I am pretending does not exist) and paid off TWO debts (a student loan and the card I had my roof stuff on). The next debt I have to pay off is about $750 dollars and because of my debt snowball I will be paying AT LEAST $105 a month. I intend to throw as much money as possible at it. I'm just excited to not have to pay 14 different people every month. What's going to suck is when that student loan I put in deferment a few months ago comes back on the list. It's a biggun. Oh, and I bought that Kindle which I've mostly loaded with free books. I just bought my first book priced book.
I'm trying to be good and stick to a budget. I am trying to seek out deals. Today I went to the Goodwill and Charlotte Russe and dropped about $25 on clothes. What did $25 get me? Two blouses, three cardigans, and two tanks to go underneath stuff. The tanks were the most expensive things I bought, at $6/tank, but they were worth it because GW tank tops are often gross. Also, I am trying to put a little money into the house every month. Last month I bought some doors. This month I will either buy doors or some beer and paint so BF can fix the hall walls and I can paint them. (Will Work for Beer is the motto around here.)
I'm doing okay but I am feeling a bit discouraged about my health. I AM having health issues. Not really problems, just issues. So I'm trying to cut back on smoking but don't want to. And then there is my diet which has gone right out the effing window, really. I've been depressed and worried and eating my pain. My weekends have been decadent. I haven't been working out enough, first because of a cold and then because I felt so far behind on everything that I wore myself out trying to catch up and never managed to sneak in my toning.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is Monday. Monday is a great day for fresh starts.
New Resolution: Write everything in my checkbook once a day. I usually do this but lately it's been once a week and that will not do.
I'm not complaining but I am damn lucky right now.
Still, I have been mostly responsible. With my tax refund, I've finished up my emergency fund (which I am pretending does not exist) and paid off TWO debts (a student loan and the card I had my roof stuff on). The next debt I have to pay off is about $750 dollars and because of my debt snowball I will be paying AT LEAST $105 a month. I intend to throw as much money as possible at it. I'm just excited to not have to pay 14 different people every month. What's going to suck is when that student loan I put in deferment a few months ago comes back on the list. It's a biggun. Oh, and I bought that Kindle which I've mostly loaded with free books. I just bought my first book priced book.
I'm trying to be good and stick to a budget. I am trying to seek out deals. Today I went to the Goodwill and Charlotte Russe and dropped about $25 on clothes. What did $25 get me? Two blouses, three cardigans, and two tanks to go underneath stuff. The tanks were the most expensive things I bought, at $6/tank, but they were worth it because GW tank tops are often gross. Also, I am trying to put a little money into the house every month. Last month I bought some doors. This month I will either buy doors or some beer and paint so BF can fix the hall walls and I can paint them. (Will Work for Beer is the motto around here.)
I'm doing okay but I am feeling a bit discouraged about my health. I AM having health issues. Not really problems, just issues. So I'm trying to cut back on smoking but don't want to. And then there is my diet which has gone right out the effing window, really. I've been depressed and worried and eating my pain. My weekends have been decadent. I haven't been working out enough, first because of a cold and then because I felt so far behind on everything that I wore myself out trying to catch up and never managed to sneak in my toning.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is Monday. Monday is a great day for fresh starts.
New Resolution: Write everything in my checkbook once a day. I usually do this but lately it's been once a week and that will not do.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Is that February right around the corner???
What do you think is one of the largest causes of stress today? I think it's money. How many times have we heard the statistics about money and divorce? We worry that we don't have enough. We worry that we're going to lose our jobs and lose our homes and be destitute. And in today's economy that really doesn't seem like we're overreacting.
Money for me is a constant source of frustration. I have a bad case of bad luck. A year and a half ago, I started doing Dave Ramsey's program. I had money in the bank and I had started a debt snowball. I paid off my car a year early. Then I bought a house. I don't regret buying a house at all. I love my home and I could not have gotten a better deal. However, that was when the bad luck hit. My offer was accepted on the house. Then my cat got hit by a car and I sunk about $3000 into fixing her. (I know that sounds crazy but she is worth every penny. We've been through a lot together and she is MY responsibility.) Then I sunk $1700 into my car. As soon as I moved in, I sunk another $600 into my car. I had just started to get back into financial shape last spring when I discovered I needed a new roof. When that was done, I was in a car accident and had to, you guessed it, fix my car. But it's not just the big things. It is my near consistent inability to stick to my budget every week.
This month, I am going to focus on getting my finances back together. I've read another Ramsey book and am feeling inspired. My taxes are filed and I'm just waiting for my refund, which will give me a jump start.
This month I will:
1. Focus on living within my budget by being frugal and cutting back on some of the things I think I need. Such as fancy meals out. Also, find some small ways to save money. Clip some coupons and finally put that extra weather stripping around the front door.
2. Get started on Ramsey's plan. Finish out my started emergency fund (Half way there!) and start a debt snowball.
3. Enjoy and appreciate what I have. Remember, focusing on what you don't have is a great way to forget about all of the wonderful things you do have. By taking time to enjoy the wonderful things in your life, your cats or your car, your home and your love, you realize the wealth you've already acquired. I am so lucky but it's easy to forget that.
P.S. A note on Health: I am closing out my January on the couch with a cold, feeling frustrated that I can't work out.
Money for me is a constant source of frustration. I have a bad case of bad luck. A year and a half ago, I started doing Dave Ramsey's program. I had money in the bank and I had started a debt snowball. I paid off my car a year early. Then I bought a house. I don't regret buying a house at all. I love my home and I could not have gotten a better deal. However, that was when the bad luck hit. My offer was accepted on the house. Then my cat got hit by a car and I sunk about $3000 into fixing her. (I know that sounds crazy but she is worth every penny. We've been through a lot together and she is MY responsibility.) Then I sunk $1700 into my car. As soon as I moved in, I sunk another $600 into my car. I had just started to get back into financial shape last spring when I discovered I needed a new roof. When that was done, I was in a car accident and had to, you guessed it, fix my car. But it's not just the big things. It is my near consistent inability to stick to my budget every week.
This month, I am going to focus on getting my finances back together. I've read another Ramsey book and am feeling inspired. My taxes are filed and I'm just waiting for my refund, which will give me a jump start.
This month I will:
1. Focus on living within my budget by being frugal and cutting back on some of the things I think I need. Such as fancy meals out. Also, find some small ways to save money. Clip some coupons and finally put that extra weather stripping around the front door.
2. Get started on Ramsey's plan. Finish out my started emergency fund (Half way there!) and start a debt snowball.
3. Enjoy and appreciate what I have. Remember, focusing on what you don't have is a great way to forget about all of the wonderful things you do have. By taking time to enjoy the wonderful things in your life, your cats or your car, your home and your love, you realize the wealth you've already acquired. I am so lucky but it's easy to forget that.
P.S. A note on Health: I am closing out my January on the couch with a cold, feeling frustrated that I can't work out.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
January: Has it helped?
January is a hard month for me. Every year I start to droop a little. It must be the darkness and cold that keeps me in a state of constant worry. Last year, I was beginning to worry that my man didn't care for me. We had only been together two months, were still in the new relationship high, but I needed SOMETHING to worry about. This year I've worried about him and about money and about the house and about my friends and that maybe I'm a bad person and about death and about my car. Worry, worry, worry. I have literally worried myself to tears.
That being said, this month wasn't about worry or dealing with that. This month was about my health. I have changed my diet and made more of an effort to work out and I have tracked my progress on Sparkpeople. So, I think it may be time to reflect.
For a very very long time I have eaten a bowl of Doritos nearly every night. I love Doritos. If you get me to a party and hand me a back of Cool Ranch, there is a god chance that you will never get it back. I don't do that anymore. I realized at the end of December that it was something I had quit doing on my own. So, I quit buying Doritos, except for the new flavors which you can't blame me for trying. The amazing thing is that I don't miss them. Not really. Not at all. I can't even really remember how they taste. I bet if I caught the smell of them it would be different. I was surprised to see what I was giving up for those little triangular delights.
I used to eat cereal for breakfast, soup for lunch, and a microwaveable meal for dinner. That usually put me at 700 calories before Doritos. When I got home, I was famished and ate my bowl of delight but also stood in the kitchen shoving anything that looked good in my mouth, including more Doritos. Now, I have a calorie budget of 350 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, 500 for dinner, and two 100 calorie snacks. I never use all of my breakfast calories, even though I've started buying Kashi cereal which is higher in calories but also in protein and fiber and lots of good stuff. I eat it with almond or soy milk, a successful experiment. I am lucky enough to be able to eat at home three days a week for lunch and I can make myself all kinds of stuff. When I come home from work, I make a dinner and eat it. Sometimes it may just be a microwaveable thing. Other times it's stir fry or a veggie burger or an actual meal.
I am amazed at the amount of food I can eat and sometimes have a hard time getting ENOUGH calories!
Also, I've been doing my best to do aerobics five days a week and toning three. Sometimes, things happen that prevent me from doing it but I have never cut out more than ONE of these work outs in a week. My aerobics are actually getting a little too easy for me. I remind myself every morning that I will feel better if I work out than if I don't and that's true.
I try to keep my energy up throughout the day. That's a hard one for me. I make work as active as I can in an attempt to keep myself going. The problem is that I work fast. When I try to stay active I work faster and end up running out of things to do.
I do feel BETTER and I bet that I would even feel happier if it weren't for winter. I do struggle and I feel proud of myself when I overcome. I feel good when I see that I've lost weight. I'm down 3 lbs for the year. It isn't much but I know that slow and steady is the way to go.
That being said, this month wasn't about worry or dealing with that. This month was about my health. I have changed my diet and made more of an effort to work out and I have tracked my progress on Sparkpeople. So, I think it may be time to reflect.
For a very very long time I have eaten a bowl of Doritos nearly every night. I love Doritos. If you get me to a party and hand me a back of Cool Ranch, there is a god chance that you will never get it back. I don't do that anymore. I realized at the end of December that it was something I had quit doing on my own. So, I quit buying Doritos, except for the new flavors which you can't blame me for trying. The amazing thing is that I don't miss them. Not really. Not at all. I can't even really remember how they taste. I bet if I caught the smell of them it would be different. I was surprised to see what I was giving up for those little triangular delights.
I used to eat cereal for breakfast, soup for lunch, and a microwaveable meal for dinner. That usually put me at 700 calories before Doritos. When I got home, I was famished and ate my bowl of delight but also stood in the kitchen shoving anything that looked good in my mouth, including more Doritos. Now, I have a calorie budget of 350 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, 500 for dinner, and two 100 calorie snacks. I never use all of my breakfast calories, even though I've started buying Kashi cereal which is higher in calories but also in protein and fiber and lots of good stuff. I eat it with almond or soy milk, a successful experiment. I am lucky enough to be able to eat at home three days a week for lunch and I can make myself all kinds of stuff. When I come home from work, I make a dinner and eat it. Sometimes it may just be a microwaveable thing. Other times it's stir fry or a veggie burger or an actual meal.
I am amazed at the amount of food I can eat and sometimes have a hard time getting ENOUGH calories!
Also, I've been doing my best to do aerobics five days a week and toning three. Sometimes, things happen that prevent me from doing it but I have never cut out more than ONE of these work outs in a week. My aerobics are actually getting a little too easy for me. I remind myself every morning that I will feel better if I work out than if I don't and that's true.
I try to keep my energy up throughout the day. That's a hard one for me. I make work as active as I can in an attempt to keep myself going. The problem is that I work fast. When I try to stay active I work faster and end up running out of things to do.
I do feel BETTER and I bet that I would even feel happier if it weren't for winter. I do struggle and I feel proud of myself when I overcome. I feel good when I see that I've lost weight. I'm down 3 lbs for the year. It isn't much but I know that slow and steady is the way to go.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
January 1: Out There vs In Here
Something surprising came up today.
I was trucking along quite nicely. I weighed and measured myself. I set up my Spark People account. I stuck pretty much within my calorie range, only cheating with a salad at dinner. I took a nap and lounged around the house. I listed out my bills for the months and my total debts owed. I did my weekly stuff: Reading a chapter in my organization book. I did my daily stuff: journaled, read the Bible, read my book. I may not have been happy but I was starting to feel like I was back in the game. I didn't necessarily feel unhappy either. I AM happy. Happy to hang out with Matt and the cats and play the Sims and take naps.
But there's been something nagging at me lately. The problem is that I can pin point what it is but that doesn't mean that I can do much about it.
I am lonely and I hate people. At this point in my life I am down to a few good friends. They may be few but they really are GOOD. My bestie moved to Connecticut last year and it's been rough. My other friends are so busy and so am I. A year and a half ago, Bestie lived two miles away and I could go there whenever I needed some social interaction.
That covers lonely.
Now, the reason I am down so many friends is that lots of people suck. They are liars and backstabbers and drama queens and quick to call you all of these things even though you know you aren't. They are two-faced and quick to drop you when someone else comes along who is more useful to them. And I hate it. I feel so slighted by my old friends sometimes. It doesn't matter if I don't see them or talk to them. I see them on Facebook and I hear about them through the grape vine and I get all tangled and knotty inside because I am HURT.
If I said it before, I've said it a thousand times. My happiness depends on me. It's about me taking responsibility for my life and living with no regrets. Happiness is about the IN HERE, not the OUT THERE. If I rely on the out there to be happy, I will be constantly crushed by other people and the news and the weather. I can't change those things. I can only change myself, how I think about and react to those things.
So, this year I am giving myself permission to be selfish. It has to be about me or it won't really make a difference at all.
I was trucking along quite nicely. I weighed and measured myself. I set up my Spark People account. I stuck pretty much within my calorie range, only cheating with a salad at dinner. I took a nap and lounged around the house. I listed out my bills for the months and my total debts owed. I did my weekly stuff: Reading a chapter in my organization book. I did my daily stuff: journaled, read the Bible, read my book. I may not have been happy but I was starting to feel like I was back in the game. I didn't necessarily feel unhappy either. I AM happy. Happy to hang out with Matt and the cats and play the Sims and take naps.
But there's been something nagging at me lately. The problem is that I can pin point what it is but that doesn't mean that I can do much about it.
I am lonely and I hate people. At this point in my life I am down to a few good friends. They may be few but they really are GOOD. My bestie moved to Connecticut last year and it's been rough. My other friends are so busy and so am I. A year and a half ago, Bestie lived two miles away and I could go there whenever I needed some social interaction.
That covers lonely.
Now, the reason I am down so many friends is that lots of people suck. They are liars and backstabbers and drama queens and quick to call you all of these things even though you know you aren't. They are two-faced and quick to drop you when someone else comes along who is more useful to them. And I hate it. I feel so slighted by my old friends sometimes. It doesn't matter if I don't see them or talk to them. I see them on Facebook and I hear about them through the grape vine and I get all tangled and knotty inside because I am HURT.
If I said it before, I've said it a thousand times. My happiness depends on me. It's about me taking responsibility for my life and living with no regrets. Happiness is about the IN HERE, not the OUT THERE. If I rely on the out there to be happy, I will be constantly crushed by other people and the news and the weather. I can't change those things. I can only change myself, how I think about and react to those things.
So, this year I am giving myself permission to be selfish. It has to be about me or it won't really make a difference at all.
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